It has been exactly 16 days since I’ve started my OJT in TPSP/OSG. And so far, I could say that I haven’t really learned anything that would help my career growth nor it helped me to be prepare for the real world after I graduate. As each days passed, I started getting more anxious about my future. I’m becoming more worried on what my life would be after graduation. Being a part of this company doesn’t really help me enlighten on what becoming an Industrial Engineer may feel. It doesn’t provide the proper environment for me to learn as a future Industrial Engineer. I kinda regret applying here, unlike Van who was really enjoying his time in here, after all this is what he really wants. He is more inclined in IT part so of course he would want this. This company is really good for IT interns but definitely not for IEs. I mean, it’s fun being in here, but I’m really just worried for my future. I never actually learned anything in school that I could apply on my future job. I’ve been looking for jobs online offered for Industrial Engineers to know what are the requirements, responsibilities and job ddescriptionsthat they would expect on an Industrial Engineer. And by just looking at the different job posts, it actually makes me more worried. There are many unfamiliar things, and it made me even more aware that I haven’t really learned anything. I guess it’s one of the perks of being part of the pioneers in our course in our school. They were like just experimenting on us. Our teachers were not even serious in teaching us. A simple solution of my worries would be to work in a job that is not really inclined to my course, a job that is easier for me to do. It solves everything, but, as in there’s a big BUT, my parents, not really my biological parents but people who raised me, is expecting me to have a job that is really inclined with my course. They have this big expectation of me that I would become something big and I really really don’t want to disappoint them. I have already disappointed them once, and I don’t want to do it again. <sigh> I know my problem is really shallow, I even doubt if it’s really a problem at all but it has been bugging me everyday. I always have this worries on me and I really don’t like it. It’s eating on me, and I don’t want to live with having worries in my head. It’s like my heart has some kind of a hole, and it really sucks I cannot really explain it and that’s what makes it more frustrating. I really don’t want and can’t talk this to any of my friends or my family, because I feel like they all have this high expectations of me, like I could do everything, which I can’t. And it sucks knowing I’m not even one-half of the person they thought I am.
This is why I don’t share my dilemmas with them. Lesson learned. It’s better if I just keep it on my own and suffer alone than to listen to their insults. They dare judge when they don’t even know what I felt these past few days. Oh wait, how would they know when they don’t even bother to ask. Sigh. Well, there’s nothing I could do about it. I’m used to it. Just need to immune myself with the pain every damn time. Should never share my problems with them again. Never. I don’t have the right to complain after all.
20 Things That Will Happen When You Leave College And Meet With The Real World
1. Leaving your college dorm will not be the movie moment you expected.
There will be no sepia toned edges as you stare around your empty room and remember everything that has happened to you over the past three years. In reality you will be too busy packing boxes and cleaning stains off the walls to really grasp the weight of the change that is about to take place
2. The reality that the best three years of your life are now over
…will not hit you until some random Tuesday three weeks after you’ve left and you’re walking past a shop and hear a song that you and your friends danced to one night when you were hammered on tequila in some sleazy club.
This once harmless memory will now have you fighting back tears as you blindly stumble through crowds trying to find a safe place to fall apart.
3. Returning to your parents house
…no matter how temporary, will now feel like a once favorite sweater which has inexplicably shrunk and been ripped in odd places and now irritates your skin.
4. You will spend nights going through your contacts looking for some old friends to hang out with
…and no one will be available because whilst you were off getting a degree they were moving on with their lives and the sad truth is that everyone moves on and moves apart.
5. Your family will fail to realize that in your time at college you managed to be a fully functioning human being
…who was capable of living their own life and making their own decisions, no matter how you try to show them this, they will persist in treating you like a 16-year old once again.
6. You will be devastated by the realisation that lying in bed eating cheetos and watching Gilmore Girls is not an acceptable way to spend your day.
7. Despite your ardent determination to not settle for any job that isn’t related to your degree in some way
…you will inevitably end up waiting tables in a local restaurant after you realise getting a job in your degree field is akin to catching a leprechaun.
8. You will be baffled by the fact that most people only go out once a week, and instead prefer to sit in at night and watch Newsnight.
Where the hell did all the two-for-one shot offers go? And why is no one up for “Just one drink”?
"There are just some people who’s not worth your tears and your pain."
Alin ba ang mas masakit?
Yung hindi ka niya mahal kasi may mahal siyang iba, o
Yung hindi ka niya mahal kasi ayaw niya lang talaga sayo.